This sucks. As I sit here procrastinating studying for my finals this video pops up on my news feed. Watching it melts my heart, as it would for I’m sure anyone. I remember back to my days on the bus, bullied as I was by the dumb girl in the class above me. We ended up on a lovely level of friendship once she graduated, but you wouldn’t be able to tell how horrible she had been to me when we were younger. I mean, I feel this poor girls pain, her tears, and heartache as it makes her hate school.
The bus driver ignoring the situation is not new, neither was the principle ignoring it. ”Bullying doesn’t happen in my school,” is not a new phrase to hear. It sucks, it absolutely sucks. Fortunately I had pretty aggressive parents. My father, the ever wise man, told me when she next harrassed me to reply with a witty remark, putting her back in her spot. I did, and she ended up leaving me alone. I think back to the day I turned around and said, “*Jane Doe, have you been drinking out of the toilet again, because your breath REAKS.” She sat back astonished and I felt the power to defend myself grow within me.
I was so fortunate to have parents who not only fought the fight, when I needed them to, and taught me how to fight my own. They instilled in me a strong sense of self, and as Pastor would say, “good God esteem.” I still came across hard times, and bullies all through out high school (yes they still exist in college as well, they’re just more subtle) and will always fight to not let others make me feel bad. One must always remind themselves of Eleanor Roosevelt’s wise saying, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
In the end though, parenting and esteem aside, I can look at this child, feeling as sad as I do, but all I can think of is the poor bully. Where is that kids parents? Clearly the little girl has loving parents, much like mine, who are going to support her and help her fight. Where, but where oh where are these boy’s parents? Where are they to help him know to treat others better, to have esteem in himself to not hurt others the way he clearly is hurt? Even bigger, what has society done to encourage this behavior.
Again in the end I think, this sucks, this absolutely sucks, but there’s a bigger picture here. I feel like in the society we live in we are too quick to jump and blame (of course though this started back with Adam and Eve’s blaming of each other). We are too quick to hurt others the way we are hurt or look for a simple solution and fight the easiest thing to fight. We need to look at the bigger picture, everyone’s hurting and this causes everyone to hurt others.
Look back at my example. My father’s first response was to hurt the little girl back, instead of dealing with her with compassion. But then again would she have been as responsive had I not been so aggressive. Would the bully in this video be more responsive if the principle yelled at him or if his home situation changed? No one can tell, but truly is it better to fight fire with fire?
I don’t know, I’ve never been good at conclusions. Just some things I’ve been pondering. Hope it helps you ponder as well.
** LATER EDIT: WAITTTTT I just made an incredible connection. The new Maleficent movie coming out from Disney is all about seeing the other side of the story. *MIND BLOWN* that or I’m just tired due to studying (er procrastinating) for finals.